Weird Al Yankovic Lyrics
Weird Al Yankovic Lyrics
"Albuquerque Lyrics"
Drinkin' Song Lyrics
Drinkin' Song Lyrics now im a start this night out right so i dont fall on my face i got some red necks wit me ready to get drunk and shot da gauge they got 6 shots of tequila and half a bottle of bacardi the bottle came from onions coat when we left the bonfire party they constantly askin fo mo and tryin to pour me up a shot incredible hulk mixed wit vodka and a skotch on the rocks crown royal an coke a bud light my eye balls afloat so much fuckin liquid in me i got to hit da pisser fo sho keepin up wit hill billys actin silly drunker then shit this might compare to my smokin song but pimpin this is not it this is my drinkin song so you know wut you got to do drink twelve or twenty one or wut eva you do just dont stop at two chorus*2 this is my drinkin song and there aint no rules wut you waitin on pop a bottle pour your self a shot or even brew your own if your gonna drink might as well drink until you hit the floor afta you hit the floor get yo ass up and pour a couple mo aight im alright listen to my words Ive done drank up half the bar and still yet a slurr I heard i looked down at red neck he look like he was about to hurl brother robby actin similiar but was spinnin like the world now real rednecks can get drunk like some shit ive nev
Drinkin' Song Lyrics now im a start this night out right so i dont fall on my face i got some red necks wit me ready to get drunk and shot da gauge they got 6 shots of tequila and half a bottle of bacardi the bottle came from onions coat when we left the bonfire party they constantly askin fo mo and tryin to pour me up a shot incredible hulk mixed wit vodka and a skotch on the rocks crown royal an coke a bud light my eye balls afloat so much fuckin liquid in me i got to hit da pisser fo sho keepin up wit hill billys actin silly drunker then shit this might compare to my smokin song but pimpin this is not it this is my drinkin song so you know wut you got to do drink twelve or twenty one or wut eva you do just dont stop at two chorus*2 this is my drinkin song and there aint no rules wut you waitin on pop a bottle pour your self a shot or even brew your own if your gonna drink might as well drink until you hit the floor afta you hit the floor get yo ass up and pour a couple mo aight im alright listen to my words Ive done drank up half the bar and still yet a slurr I heard i looked down at red neck he look like he was about to hurl brother robby actin similiar but was spinnin like the world now real rednecks can get drunk like some shit ive nev
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy
Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast
Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single mornin'
It was driving me crazy
I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old
That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel
Wacka wacka doodoo yeah
Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to
Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?
'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ahhhh
So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for
My Little Girl Lyrics
Gotta hold on easy as I let you go Gonna tell you how much I love you though you think you already know I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm You’ve had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born You beautiful baby from the outside in Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again Go on take on this old world but to me you know you will always be My little girl When you were in trouble that crooked little smile would melt my heart of stone Now look at you I’ve turned around and you’ve almost grown Sometimes your asleep I whisper I love you in the moonlight at your door As I walk away I hear you say “daddy love you more” You beautiful baby from the outside in Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again Go on take on this old world but to me you know you will always be My little girl Someday some boy will come and ask me for your hand But I won’t say yes to him unless I know He’s the half that makes you whole He has a poets soul And the heart of a mans man I know he’ll say that he’s in love, but between you and me He won’t be good enough You beautiful baby from the outside in Chase your dreams but always
three full daysGotta hold on easy as I let you go Gonna tell you how much I love you though you think you already know I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm You’ve had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born You beautiful baby from the outside in Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again Go on take on this old world but to me you know you will always be My little girl When you were in trouble that crooked little smile would melt my heart of stone Now look at you I’ve turned around and you’ve almost grown Sometimes your asleep I whisper I love you in the moonlight at your door As I walk away I hear you say “daddy love you more” You beautiful baby from the outside in Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again Go on take on this old world but to me you know you will always be My little girl Someday some boy will come and ask me for your hand But I won’t say yes to him unless I know He’s the half that makes you whole He has a poets soul And the heart of a mans man I know he’ll say that he’s in love, but between you and me He won’t be good enough You beautiful baby from the outside in Chase your dreams but always
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's OK, they're clean
Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door
Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything
So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Tough"
And I'm like "Give it"
And he's like "Make me"
And I'm like "'Kay"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a farmiliar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said
It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
In Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts
So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "You got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're
Hey Lyrics
Hey, I geuss I'll figure it out the reasons why things went the way they did and why we can't accept it We'd Fall asleep, but not before we excorcised the evil things that everyone hides We would lie there in my bed, Do you remember all those nights we never slept no clothes, sweaty doing all those things I never thought I'd do and i did them with you and hey, dont feel bad. No one can ever take away the boardwalk trips or the subways I think we grew up Past the hang-ups and the evil stares the fuck you toos and i dont cares We would lie there in my bed, Do you remember all those nights we never slept no clothes, sweaty doing all those things I never thought I'd do and i did them with you Hey, I geuss I'll figure it out the reasons why things went the way they did and why we can't accept it We'd Fall asleep, but not before we excorcised the evil things that everyone hides We would lie there in my bed, Do you remember all those nights we never slept And even though we brought it crashing to an end, I loved it all and now I love my friend I loved it all, I love the girl, I love my friend.
outta jelly donuts"Hey, I geuss I'll figure it out the reasons why things went the way they did and why we can't accept it We'd Fall asleep, but not before we excorcised the evil things that everyone hides We would lie there in my bed, Do you remember all those nights we never slept no clothes, sweaty doing all those things I never thought I'd do and i did them with you and hey, dont feel bad. No one can ever take away the boardwalk trips or the subways I think we grew up Past the hang-ups and the evil stares the fuck you toos and i dont cares We would lie there in my bed, Do you remember all those nights we never slept no clothes, sweaty doing all those things I never thought I'd do and i did them with you Hey, I geuss I'll figure it out the reasons why things went the way they did and why we can't accept it We'd Fall asleep, but not before we excorcised the evil things that everyone hides We would lie there in my bed, Do you remember all those nights we never slept And even though we brought it crashing to an end, I loved it all and now I love my friend I loved it all, I love the girl, I love my friend.
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"NO, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"
So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .
Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)
I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated weiner dog
And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a caligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"
That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseperable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah
But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go
In Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I ev
Cession at Da Doghillee Lyrics
[Ruck] I flow fluidly, though I be the being of your bee's wax Ease back, fo' I squeeze that We don't need that, do we, do we? Rap style, groupie, a dog like Tin, that's why you scared to step to me Do we, have to result in fisticuffs? See I get swifter myself, that's when the Ruck erupts So think not, of what I am, and what I do Just recognize in the murder mic, I rule [Starang Wondah] How many corny MC gon' try? Fifty mc, forty of dem done die Run wit Heltah Skeltah, through the realms of the dark If a nigga rift, then I'mma let the 4-4 bark Everybody knows, where my notty head grows I turn into a lethal weapon, and start steppin on toes I, waste no time, when I move mine Grab my glock, and then I clear the stuff, like I was code nine [Chorus: Buckshot] Why you wanna fuck wit my Boot Camp? Boot Camp, survivin the preview and Fuck wit my Bucktown group And in the night, the night, who roll the tight Why you wanna fuck wit my Boot Camp? Boot Camp, survivin the preview and Comin through, representin Boot Camp Clik In the night, who roll tight [Louieville Sluggah] Wack MC's, have best to beware That I fears no fears, and that's word to my dry tear I brake ya whole fuckin crew in half Feel the wrath, as the Gunn Clapp
en made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face[Ruck] I flow fluidly, though I be the being of your bee's wax Ease back, fo' I squeeze that We don't need that, do we, do we? Rap style, groupie, a dog like Tin, that's why you scared to step to me Do we, have to result in fisticuffs? See I get swifter myself, that's when the Ruck erupts So think not, of what I am, and what I do Just recognize in the murder mic, I rule [Starang Wondah] How many corny MC gon' try? Fifty mc, forty of dem done die Run wit Heltah Skeltah, through the realms of the dark If a nigga rift, then I'mma let the 4-4 bark Everybody knows, where my notty head grows I turn into a lethal weapon, and start steppin on toes I, waste no time, when I move mine Grab my glock, and then I clear the stuff, like I was code nine [Chorus: Buckshot] Why you wanna fuck wit my Boot Camp? Boot Camp, survivin the preview and Fuck wit my Bucktown group And in the night, the night, who roll the tight Why you wanna fuck wit my Boot Camp? Boot Camp, survivin the preview and Comin through, representin Boot Camp Clik In the night, who roll tight [Louieville Sluggah] Wack MC's, have best to beware That I fears no fears, and that's word to my dry tear I brake ya whole fuckin crew in half Feel the wrath, as the Gunn Clapp
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude
OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"
So I did
And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?
Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and he tells me he hasn't had a bite in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
(screaming sounds)
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?
Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought
Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is
I HATE SAUERKRAUT!
That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandry
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy old mixed-up universe of ours
There's still a little place called
Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque
(belch)